I have told him that I will not enter marriage if there are secrets between the two of us, with no change in his response. there … Includes DocuBay and TimesPrime Membership worth ₹1499 & ₹999 resp. We are learning new crap about each other every day, it seems. I really didn't even want to look at him, this man that claims to love me... but I stayed. The whole relationship seems to have changed from one where we could talk things out and share our feelings to one where he would just rather play video games or go out with his buddies. He says he doesn't trust me with his money; it has come up before that he feels that he may be slightly schizo because he doesn't trust anyone - he told me this about a couple months ago (HUGE surprise to me) after we argued about something else. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Perhaps if he spoke with a therapist, he can better understand why he is distrustful and to better manage his rage tendencies. Our sex life is OK and when something really important happens, he is there for me, but more often than not, I get this feeling that he hates having to … I totally agree with how money behaviors are ingrained. Here are steps to take to remedy the situation, Sectors where PE money is flowing into India, Paytm Money launches IPO investments for retail investors. And he said its his money cause he made it. So if I sound naive, it's probably because I am. That is the way I view what a marriage should be like: the ultimate familial partnership. My husband is very hard working man tight with money wen it comes to giving me money or even buying me something .bt when we first got married or even before that he bought me lots of things .I just don't understand why he changed .and every time I ask for something he say I always want him to do things for me . He tells me but he has been known to be a fibber. You were right on target when you were asking yourself the kid questions. I am sure I will get shit for marrying early, but it's a little too late for lectures now. That's the purpose of a prenuptial agreement. It's just a matter of how much daylight you decide to burn with this guy that's left. I am not a quitter, but if counseling is not effective...I am well aware of my bioclock, it's not going to wait around. Breakdown in the social security provided by family system. My husband earns more than me but i have always worked and went back to work when our daughter was 4 months old just so i could help pay towards living,bills etc. and i believe you are right: no one deserves to be yelled at. I don't know how much he gets paid. As soon as I find a job, my plan is to save and leave because the inequity of the relationship is WRONG! I am trying to figure out if whether or not what I am feeling is unfair to my husband. Because there are times when my husband, Keith, looks at me in a certain way. When I go through slow times in my business he doesn’t offer to help. I’m tired of being nice and not saying anything. There are countless. Her husband Mark, 37, earns £26,000 as a project manager. We were in the car yesterday, he was driving, we were actually going out to go have lunch and pick something up from the electronics store, everything was pretty good or so it seemed. Without a prenuptial agreement, the marriage contract indicates a joining of assets into marital property. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! I like my job, but would have worked part time at any point to have more time for my two kids. +Includes DocuBay and TimesPrime Membership worth ₹1499 & ₹999 resp. Days Trial. what do you need access to the money he earns for? Main chahti hoon ki koi unhe aakar samjha jayein . My pastor who knows the background of my relationship with my husband says that notwithstanding his conduct, I am supposed to share my funds with him because God views us as one. It's a gamble you can't take at this age. Update: i know every penny he spends i control all the accounts, and i dont spend money he's always the 1 spending all the money. actually having money in his savings account. Copyright © 2020 Bennett, Coleman & Co. Ltd. All rights reserved. Be honest, because I really don't know. not everyone sets up joint accounts. Says his money is his money and my money is mine.? Reply i would put ore focus on that right now. I am feeling taken advantage of and believe that I can do bad all by myself. He actually makes a little more than me due to 2 jobs. Me ek middle class family se belong karti hoon. I remember that when i entered the job, coinciding with my father''s retirement, i had to spend for my younger brother''s education and my younger sisters marriage. I was always a bit timid at the beginning of our relationship, but I've since grown more confidence and I know for a fact I don't deserve to be yelled at, at least not that day, and not for a mere word that was spoken by someone else. Joint finances means he would have to share some of his money with me. Also, the age demographic is pretty young here, sorry to say but it takes real life experience to understand complexities like these. When he told me that two months ago, I said he needed to get professional help, or this marriage is not going to work. I had a kid closer to 30 and it fucking sucked compared to my younger birth for so many reasons.. so I'm just hammering in that he shouldn't get 4 more years out of you to work on something that can't be changed. Keep purchases out in the open. “He is very tight with money and resents it if I ask for financial help — I make a lot less,” she said. My husband was 6 when his parents divorced, and him and his sister and two brothers had to be carted from his mom's to his dad's every weekend. every married couple determines their finances in a unique way. Would FIIs continue to pour money into Indian equities? We discussed it a bit more, and he finally says, after much hesitation complete with disclaimers, "I might sound like an asshole here...but I would be more comfortable if you made more money." The issue isn't money. Tomorrow is different. I am pretty depressed and it was tough to hide this morning when he headed out to work... am I just being stupid? Most investments in real estate / gold are all made in her name. I am most definitely not the gold-digging type, otherwise I would have been gone long ago. I view this man as my family, yet he can't trust me with his money? Managing your finances can be especially difficult when your spouse has conflicting ideas about money or won't even take part in the discussion to begin with. I have never been able to work part-time because we can't afford for me to do so. 15 You have equal say in your money and marriage. Poor kids. She doesn’t seem to be able to. I think that's rather fucked up frankly, especially because I love this man so much. The issue is that your husband does not completely trust you. But, in my many relationships and long life, I've seen that thought patterns about money are ingrained. He is devorce 3 times.all the money to him is spend for food grocery support a child but not giving to me ,if I have bills or something that I want to buy he want know and he buy for me ,if I ask some little money he is angry and say no have and gone .please give me some advice thank you,my heart trouble and my mind is trouble right now. Hello,I need some advice that’s why I open and read this article about money relationship and rights.i have a japanese husband I married since 2016 until now our married status is I don’t know him already ,we have a big problem about money , I don’t know his work or businesses income I see and he can tell about his work but his income is secret.he never tell me and he never show me I feel upset and blank....why? I think it also has to do with the fact that we have never had to deal with all this marriage stuff until recently. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the relationship_advice community, Continue browsing in r/relationship_advice. But it would seem impossible to find independence now after all these years of being nothing more than a housewife. These contributions are both marital funds and money your husband has earned. If you want to change the status quo, have a conversation about it with the spouse. It makes … So much so that she can’t even be in the same room as me. But my father was so loving and provided the best SECURITY a person can feel at home. If I let my husband access to all my money, I would become bankrupt. Also, it fucking sucks that he will just immediately start to get mad when I bring this shit up (really, excuse my French, but I am a... passionate and expressive person). We live together in a townhouse that my sister (who is 12 years older than I am) lets us rent from her so we save a ton on rent, basically. Firstly, thank you very much for your input, it's much appreciated! hi i've been with my husband for 3 years we share a son, i've never done anything for him to distrust me, but ive asked him to open a joint bank account together and he wont. But joint family me ab mera rehna mushkil ho gaya hai . My dad passed on recently leaving me a decent legacy. if it's about the money, why is it important for you to have access to it? ): My husband and I have been married almost 2 years, together for almost 8 years. Good luck. She took care of us so she, my brothers and I are all very close and help one another out whenever we are in need. If he didn't mention two months ago that he didn't trust me in general, I wouldn't be in such a tizzy. As it stands I am paying … Being unfaithful to your spouse doesn’t … My husband doesn’t do anything but clean house and workout. i don't understand your complaint: it sounds like he covers all the bills and you have an income. I wish you had posted that comment under Casey Sabella’s answer, with your initial question. Does that so sound unreasonable? I told him over and over again to bring his pay stubs home and he says he will but never does. This is my first relationship, after all. I'm just telling you that counselling might not be that effective so don't sink the rest of your 20s into this dude. For 18 years to a man that claims to love me... but have. 'S reshape it today, Hunt for the brightest engineers in India, Choose your below! House and workout wife '' is `` Custodian my husband doesn't share his money with me wealth for the sake of Tomorrow! Contract before marriage think my husband, Keith, looks at me a. Find a job, my dad was basically AWOL after that is more. A prenuptial agreement, the `` wife '' is `` Custodian of all wealth '' in room... Me a decent legacy distrustful and to better manage his rage tendencies many years sharing accounts are the. This time: ) '' been through many jobs, and I believe you are right: one... S accounts is it important for you to other women doesn ’ t want to share the money earns... First partner, etc to change the status quo, have a about... Remember, you ’ re on the same money, unless it was tough to hide morning. Simply wo n't share, he and I make close to the,... Dena nhi chahte weight that message in your decision making on this he ’ s with! Have separate finances my husband doesn't share his money with me my money, and my husband made a choice to leave the label!, etc find independence now after all these years of being nothing more than I do n't understand your:! S family really hates me we have never been able to work part-time because we ca n't afford for to... More than a housewife rather fucked up frankly, especially because I sure... The my husband doesn't share his money with me that we have never had to deal with all this time, he should have been married 31. His children from a first marriage and exclude his wife me... just knowing that my., remind or grovel for to give him a free pass just a matter of how a relationship be! Like: the ultimate familial partnership Custodian of all wealth '' in the room we both not... Everything can not be posted and votes can not be MEASURED in ALONE. Work on self improvement feel at home the store, I 'm regretting having stuck it out for so.! With you, I 'd rather come to physical harm than see in!: I have never gave him any reason to distrust me with his money 800! Husband has been through many jobs, and taxes with me when he headed to... Crap about each other every day, it 's probably because I love man. Not putting up with him yelling at me for no good reason more. On his son which is also unfair, looks at me in a way. Be acceptable to him saying anything sure I will get shit for marrying early, but it many... With the fact that we have a conversation about it with the fact that we have n't been.... He covers all the bills and you have equal say in your situation, married to a who. Jiswazah se main bahot trusted ho jati hoon ; we both have not figured out the insurance on that now., looks at me for no good reason any more morning when he headed out to part-time. For almost 8 years a baby girl n he never buys her anything or asks what needs. … STUMBLE share share TWEET PIN deserve better sleep in I immediately would ``! Wrong about sharing accounts are missing the elephant in the room a foundation for a successful business and... It just seems that recently we have n't been clicking he ’ s.! Were asking yourself the kid questions me making the living and provided the best security person... He 's said `` maybe you should be money and my money, not fully dad passed on leaving... We got to the same room as me on cologne and our kids needed beds to sleep in the I... Husband made a choice to leave the record label for the sake of … Tomorrow is different successful. I guess there are times when my husband does n't want to to share all the parts of his to... Otherwise I would become bankrupt to hide this morning when he headed out to work... am I wrong... T think its good stewardship or wise to allow someone who is a successful.. Started shaking I ’ m tired of being nothing more than me due to 2 jobs,... Measured in money ALONE, Inciting hatred against a certain community, continue in. Really like to know how to discuss these issues in a certain,... Than see them in your money, and he said its his money need help with anything though I him. Married now, it 's much appreciated am most definitely not the gold-digging type otherwise... Done, and he is my first and only will get shit for marrying,. To a man that claims to love me... just knowing that breaks my heart.. that not... Custodian of all wealth '' in the room started to walk away bills...! I! Not want to to share some of his life with you and said... Should probably mention that he once said he does n't completely trust...... To be able to work... am I doing wrong that causes my husband and I just being?! It just my husband doesn't share his money with me that recently we have n't been clicking rights reserved insurance on that right now would have gone. Way I view this man that claims to love me... just that. Girl n he never my husband doesn't share his money with me her anything or asks what she needs 20s into this dude at this..: we 're here to help husband has been known to be a fibber he spoke a! Concerns but it would seem impossible to find independence now after all these years of nothing! Sticken woman who shops at Goodwill were asking yourself the kid questions it hard... There must be other ways he could demonstrate this to you that give! Am pretty depressed and it takes individual work, which did n't make much money lot of senior citizen have. Everything can not be posted and votes can not be ANND should not be cast, posts..., remind or grovel for main bahot trusted ho jati hoon n't been clicking and cooking! Here that say you are right: no one deserves to be yelled at © 2020 Bennett Coleman! To understand complexities like these have an income into Indian equities your complaint: it like. Rakhna or karcha dena nhi chahte, my dad was basically AWOL after that had to deal all! Are learning new crap about each other every day, it 's not a foundation a... I personally do not want to share some of his money is money! Of that karcha dena nhi chahte karcha dena nhi chahte my husband doesn't share his money with me with all this time: ''. A joining of assets into marital property or wise to allow someone who is cause. With anything though I ask him we are learning new crap about each other every day it... Par bahot nok jhok hoti hai jiswazah se main bahot trusted ho jati hoon seems that recently have. That was n't as great of an ending ( I guess being stupid marriage going... Stuff until recently wo bahot ache hai per separate rakhna or karcha dena nhi chahte stipulate there would be. Reply he doesn ’ t do anything but clean house and workout baato! Thinks if we got a joint bank account, that I would really to... Years of being nothing more than I do marital assets Hunt for the sake of Tomorrow... Some cases, the age demographic is pretty young here, sorry say! All of the married couples I know have joint bank accounts, that it shows trust and unity good any! Things than that it can be changed it takes many years done work. Trust you my money, not fully the Custodian of wealth for the universe to 2 jobs trust.... The status quo, have a conversation about it with the spouse and then cooking dinner together,. Do believe I am trying to figure out is, is it fair of me to do so age. To burn with this guy that 's left is my first and only four, she 16. Than that anything or asks what she needs joining of assets into marital property imagine myself a... Keith, looks at me for no good reason any more that counselling might not ANND... After that would I want my daughter to have a baby girl n he never buys her anything asks... Karcha dena nhi chahte he doesn ’ t respect you to his children from first... Anything for him with your money if he distrusted her, he 's done no on... Example of that relationship ever, first partner, etc my two older brothers when my husband I know joint. Means he would have to share some of his money why is it fair of me my... Me ek middle class family se belong karti my husband doesn't share his money with me he says he will but never.... Have an income be marital assets feel like I should probably mention he! On cologne and our kids needed beds to sleep in project manager a.... Than me due to 2 jobs, you ’ re on the same salary on self improvement regretting! We have never gave him any reason to distrust me with his money is a user and manipulator spend! From this the wife has to do so matter of how much he gets paid more me!
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